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xijhm's avatar
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Literature Text

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where's a ridiculous metal song when you need it?...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0Bx1-…
oh... perfect

total rip off title I know but it fits and after writing this I feel horrible for a number of reasons. first and obvious is I just wrote a poem about just out of reach freedom/hope and total denial of those things. by definition: the most effective torture. second, it might actually be the story of my life. that's debatable though.

but please leave comments encouraging me to free her
and due to it's subject matter it will have the mature rating

for the Live-Love-Write writing prompt
prompt: flight
Mature
© 2016 - 2024 xijhm
Comments11
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grand-ole-osprey's avatar
I disagree with the other comments on here. Personally I found this piece very boring and tedious to read. I prefer your other piece, "an electric boy and a burning girl". That one has a sense of rhythm to it, like a metronome, that makes it an engaging read. This one reads more like just a long series of interrelated sentences; the pattern of stressed syllables comes off as arbitrary. I would suggest in your future works to make them more like "an electric boy and a burning girl" and less like this one.